Archive for » July, 2010 «

It is the finale.

I did not expect this would be the end between me and him. We were quarreling about nonsensical stuffs that I do not see a point in talking about at all. He raised his voice at me over the phone. When I wanted to speak, he spoke louder to cover over my voice. Although I was at a verge of throwing my worst temper at him, I stopped myself by hitting my pillow. I teared a couple of times while trying to talk when he did not gave me a chance to explain and speak what’s in my mind. After he had quieten down, I said in a very calm and composed manner, “Let’s break up.”. I guess it marked the end of my hopes and dreams to have a “happily ever after” ending with him. I gave up, putting my hands up and surrender and hanging the white flag above my door. All he wanted for me is to understand him better and all I wanted was for him to understand me better. Both individuals from different back ground, different past experiences and different up bringing trying their best to compromise each other but failed.

He was younger than me by 2 years. Perhaps different mentality? Or does it boils down to my bad temper, self-centered and unreasonable behavior? I had been really angry and pissed with him, but I have never ever threw my temper on him because I love him. He had threw his bad temper at me before. I forgave him time to time again, in the hope of him changing for the better for our future. I had to admit he changed a couple of his bad behavior for us. It still boils back to his character and personality, I guess. Like the phrase “Leopards will never change it spots”.

Perhaps, this was Fate playing upon us. Or maybe we were never meant to be together… …