I couldn’t find any where to vent my frustrations out…Last evening, upon receiving some saddening news, I was devastated…but I couldn’t cry…I had to be strong for my mum who was crying as she broke the news to me…I had no feelings or what so ever…Neither could I cry nor I was able to speak to any body…I was at a total lost…

I was looking for something for me to vent my frustrations but I couldn’t…I was searching high and low for my hand written diary which I kept for years…but I couldn’t find…I gave up searching and lay down on my bed…thinking about my aunt who left me 6 years ago after a year long battle with leukemia (cancer of the blood)…and now my uncle intestinal or colon cancer…will God take him away from us???

Why is God taking away all the kind souls in my life away from me???1st my beloved aunt…and next target is my uncle???Why???I still can’t understand…I’m still not talking to anyone…I’m keeping everything to myself again…I’m afraid that I might lose him during the battle of cancer he will be going through…

When I visited him yesterday at his home, he was so skinny…I could see he is left with bones and some flesh…its so painful to see a family member who is so dear to you to be suffering silently…and you can’t do any thing to help him to relieve his pain…

All I could do now is to hope he recover from the surgery he done 2 weeks ago to remove the intestine which was inflamed…nurse back his health to fight the battle with cancer…he is still haven’t know the truth about cancer…I wish I could give him all my strength to face with the reality…I hope my aunt will take over his role of the pillar of the family…I hope everything could be the best for their family now…

God had taken my grandfather, Aunt away due to cancer…and now my dearest uncle must fight on to live…I want him to see us grow up…he always encouraged me to study hard since young…he always dote on me although he have 3 daughters…he must live on…he have to…he have to prove to God that although he is God, he can’t just take people away from the rights to live when he loves and treasures life!!!

I’m a Catholic…but now, my faith for my religion is not there anymore…I had lost my faith…I don’t trust God anymore after so many incidents that he took people so dear to me away…

Sorry for those who is waiting patiently for my official blog opening…But I’m so busy studying my 2nd degree…Now, I’m studying on Law…its so boring but I’m working real hard to get all As for my result…and I cant find the suitable person to do up my blog yet…

Alrighty, I’m going off soon to my uncle’s home to accompany him…Please help me pray for him…because no one can take my uncle away from my family…my grandmother had went through enough of pain already…at the age of 88, she seen her mother passed on, then her friends, then my grandfather, then my aunt whom she dote on the most…but not now, not this time…my uncle has to live on for us… =) he is a very strong man…